|
[02 May 2005|12:27am] |
i wish i was the girl max bemis sang about.
or something like that.
|
|
| you owe me an i.o.u. |
[22 Apr 2005|01:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hot hot heat |
] |
i could look at steve bays for hours.....
yesterday i came to the conclusion,
if one day airplanes flew by dropping choco tacos,
it would be the happiest day of my life.
and mike decided thats what they should do in third world countries for all the starving children.
i have typhiod fever or something.
or maybe just a really stuffy nose.
right.
|
|
|
[20 Apr 2005|01:57am] |
Critical thinking:
you finally realize that one of the things you miss most about home is a boy who doesn't answer the phone and won't return your calls. and it's 4/20. what do you do?
|
|
| i prefer to sleep in a hollywood bed |
[04 Apr 2005|01:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the dears |
] |
1. i am overwhelmed.
2. i am addicted to say anything.
3. i really don't understand why people like me anymore. i don't mean people i've been friends with or known for a reasonable amount of time because they have to like me. i mean new people,like, hey, so-and-so, this is danielle, new people. this is partially because i am so disinterested and tired all the time that i come off like a real asshole. and this doesn't really bother me. because deep down i am.
4. i never want to see another light house again as long as i live.
5. i wrote a paper on p. diddy.
6. good things don't happen to good people.
7. i eat too much pizza.
8. the pope died.
9. i have decided to try to make a point of going home every sunday.
10. i would like to thank lauren and jess ahn for my new found appreciation of shoplifting.
11. i hate wrestlemania.
12. lately everything i do is pointless and i never get what i want.
13. i'm trying to grow some balls. not in the literal sense of course. that's gross.
14. semester is over in 7 weeks.
...killing time waiting for the paint on my canvas to dry.
|
|
| i watched you leave 10 seconds too late |
[24 Mar 2005|09:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the movielife |
] |
1. he looks so good it's not even fair.
2. i think im starting to hate art/black and white paintings.
3. i have a whole box of chips delux.
4. after 2 years, i finally got my midtown hoodie back.
you do the math.
|
|
|
[09 Mar 2005|09:25pm] |
im so god damned depressed.
all the time.
i miss my mom.
i miss my friends.
i don't want to be at school anymore.
it was my birthday monday.
and it didn't matter.
i don't know what i want to do with my life anymore.
i don't care.
i just want to be home.
for once i just want to go home.
and be in my room
in my bed
with my dog
and my mom saying i'm gonna be ok.
i just don't want to feel like this anymore.
i'm done.
|
|
|
[28 Feb 2005|09:55am] |
suzanne is sleeping.
i am wrapped in a blanket
skipping art class as we speak.
|
|
| devils in the details |
[27 Feb 2005|01:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nondescript |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
bright eyes |
] |
stupid things i do sometimes
like driving from union hill rd, manalapan
to rt 202, mahwah
in snow storms
should make me realize several things.
1. i am wreckless and irresponsible
2. i am not invincible
but quite often dont.
because were talking about me here
and i just dont learn.
jess is awesome
and bought me a tattoo for my birfday
so now i have one of my roses
ill get the other one in a few weeks
i suppose
worked again tonight
even the people i thought didnt like me in actuality do
so im really happy being there.
suzanne will be here tomorrow.
finally.
tuesday i might surprise my mom.
maybe.
my birthday is a week from monday.
hurrah hurrah.
it would be nice to be really excited about it
but im not
not yet at least
so i guess i have a week to get excited
but i dont see it happening
next semester
there might not be a next semester.
for real.
i need to think alot
|
|
|
[19 Feb 2005|02:39am] |
whiskey.
and shaun of the dead.
that is all.
danielle.
ps i pretend i'm lauren.
|
|
| i wasn't prepared for this |
[17 Feb 2005|07:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
eisley |
] |
waiting for mike to get out of class.
party at the gsp.
meh.
worked this morning.
the h&m register system is ridonkulous.
but work is good.
and everyone says i'm doing really well to start out.
better then they thought.
or expected.
or something.
don't they know i own retail?
hah.
will is coming home in a week or so.
which means pong at justin's apartment.
i'm excited about that.
and me and will destroying the opposition.
my new favorite word to describe myself is "trainwreck".
the rents came up yesterday morning
due to the current emotional state of their oldest daughter.
and my dad asked me if i was on drugs.
i said maybe i should be.
so what if i'm going crazy.
so what.
my birthday is in less then a month.
i thought about that this morning.
another empty year.
here i come.
|
|
| its hard to say when i'm 39... |
[15 Feb 2005|02:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mates of state |
] |
thank god this cursed holiday is over.
no valentine again this year.
not like its big surprise or anything.
the best part was actually seeing and speaking to james hurley and still not getting a "happy's valentines day" out of him.
wonderful.
my mom deposited money in my bank account so i could buy candy for myself and i almost cried.
i miss her so much.
all the time.
worked again tonight.
being the new girl is defintely no fun.
but i'm actually happier just saying that i work at h&m now and not pac sun.
speaking of the devil,
my final paycheck is m.i.a.
not cool.
it's not at freehold.
for some ridiculous reason i was supposed to get it at gsp
resulting in an anxiety attack.
because i never wanted to walk into that store again.
which was all for nothing
because it wasn't there either.
lots of stuff to get done this week.
nothing exciting but i am going to try to get it all done in a reasonable manner.
i'm taking care of business
cause really keeping busy is the only thing that might keep me from going crazy.
chris romer is here.
ha ha ha
something about that makes me laugh
but i'm not sure why.
had a little bit to drinky drink.
feels nice.
|
|
|
[11 Feb 2005|09:01pm] |
1st serious panic attack in almost a year
+ 4 in the morning
= fun for the whole family
the old me is back.
you better watch out.
|
|
| but if i move my place in line i lose |
[09 Feb 2005|06:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
deathcab |
] |
officially no longer a pac sun employee
but one of h&m.
i start friday.
it feels good.
dropped social issues in effort to have more time to behave like a human as opposed to the android that this semester is going to turn me into.
argh.
fight back.
chinese new year at the birch tree inn.
there was a big dancing dragon
and it ate bri.
dance partied last night
"you know whats worse than koi fish? koi fish tattoos"
as said by a drunk kid who didn't know i had one
"yeah thats cool i have one on my foot"
says i
-awkward silence-
followed by 893652 apologies from said drunk kid.
and jess made fun of him.
so there.
ps i'm sick as a dog.
ps i'm lonely.
ps jkbdai ugb bdkfdmz fuck.
|
|
| you say i choose sadness it never once has chosen me |
[06 Feb 2005|07:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
rilo kiley |
] |
strike one
and its all hurleys fault.
cause maybe, if he called like he was supposed to
i wouldn't have felt the need to get shitty in eric's room.
just maybe.
i'm done with being disappointed.
or more straight to the point-
i'm done with james hurley.
|
|
|
[04 Feb 2005|10:30pm] |
everybody in the club gettin tipsy.
woo hah.
woo hah.
|
|
| i wanna know your plans, and how involved in them i am. |
[04 Feb 2005|01:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
say anything |
] |
i'm not an ignorant girl.
i am well aware that the people who hurt me the most are the ones who don't even deserve the time of day. i've got to stop letting people walk all over me, and to stop handing out second and third and fourth and fifth and 653498 chances.
i've got to learn to let go.
i understand that people change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. i know that when they change, no matter what, under no circumstances, can you ever get the old person back.
but i really wish i could.
cause i always miss the old you.
and the new one makes me feel inadequate.
|
|
|
[03 Feb 2005|01:17am] |
just drank the worst jungle juice
ever mixed.
ever.
|
|
| if you walk in the sun i won't be your shadow |
[02 Feb 2005|10:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
air |
] |
today i bought a blanket that makes me happier than any material object should.
went to h&m again
to fill out another background check
because wonder of wonders
i messed up writing my social security number.
but hopefully i'll be starting by monday.
there are certain people
that i have begun to lose hope in.
and that makes me sad
cause i've never really given up on anyone before
but so it goes.
i mean
i guess.
right?
|
|
|
[30 Jan 2005|08:26pm] |
my triumphant return to ramapo college.
and mundane north jersey.
went off without a hitch.
i guess.
|
|
|
[04 Jan 2005|11:41pm] |
maybe it would be nice to meet someone
who could dress himself nicely
and drive me around
and take me to parties
and hold my hand because he wants too
and not just because i reached for it.
and always be happy to see me.
i dont know if a boy like that exists
and if he does
i'm not even sure if i deserve him
but if i didn't fuck it up
it might be nice.
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
takewhatyouwant's journal